Sunday, January 15, 2006

But Mom, Everyone Has One

I'll take a cue from Tyler today -as much as I deplore his taste in music, clothing, and tofu- and rant about everyone's favorite packaged culture shop computer company: The Glorious Empire of Apple.

Apple charges far too much for their crap. I love my iConform, but it cost me 300 of my hard-earned birthday gift dollars. Now see, I like to be smart when it comes to my money. Being the son of not one, but TWO accountants makes you stingy (in an awesome way). Now, buying the iConform along with the Apple super-expensive (and overrated) dock with the speakers shaped like the ghosts from Pac-Man will alone cost over 500 bucks. God bless America.

iTrip? There's nothing trippy nor i about it. Get a real FM transmitter for half the price that is separately wired so you can plug into not just your iConform but (gasp) other items as well. Want to hook your ancient CD player up to listen to in your car? Non-iTrip FM transmitter! Tape player? Well I have no idea why you would have one, but yes! Maybe your friend has a ripoff MP3 player made by another company? Done! Buy different.

Want a case so your precious, delicate iConform doesn't get stratched (OH NO!) or damaged? First off I believe that Apple intentionally makes these things out of plexiglass and whipped cream just so they're fragile enough to warrant the purchase of an expensive case. You could be a mindless tool like most iConform owners and dish out 30+ bucks to buy a piece of plasticized jelly that they call a case, or you could be smart like me and just shove it in one of those cloth bags that come with sunglasses. Heck, I know somebody who uses a baby sock to protect her iConform. It works.

How about those computer docks? They sure do look fantastic until you see that they'll cost you hundreds of dollars. Why don't we fight the man for once? Would it absolutely kill you if you had to use the wall charger and computer cable separately? And if you must have the speakers, you could just buy a standalone model and save yourself another hundred bucks. You won't look nearly as cool as the other conformist hacks with their UFO-shaped speakers, but you'll be hundreds of dollars richer.

To quote Apple's own marketting savants: THINK DIFFERENT.

-Nader, whose post was hijacked revised to be awesome by Kevin


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree. apple crap is ridiculously expensive.

7:45 PM  
Anonymous ghosh said...

god damn u 2, xulujerk is a jerk, apple is the god of companies, fuckin windows users. Ur just sad cuz windows can make shit like this, cuz it actually takes brains. and dude do u realize how much it fuckin costs them to make an iPod, and have u used their comps, their so fuckin dank. I mean who cares if they're more than windows, and other cheap ass mp3 players. They are that much better and worth the extra buck

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Richard said...

one has to ask when everybody has an iConform and apple still advertises that they think different

different as opposed to who?

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is ridiculous, Apple is not forcing anyone to buy anything. When has apple ever tied someone to a chair and force fed them ipods? Like you said intelligent people can find alternatives. It is on the account of their stupiditiy and impressionable nature that Apple owns the current market. Idiocy is not an apple product!

8:38 PM  

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