Sunday, January 22, 2006

Read the Fine Print

Ahh, fine print. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I mean, just think how many people would be out of jobs if contracts and laws were written in ways that normal people could understand. Most lawyers would be reduced to hobos*. Which in itself is a fun thought. And we might not even need politicians.

But it's the expression of thoughts like this that fine print apparently guards against. I was filling out the many forms required to use campus space, when I became distracted and generally bored from filling out the form. So I found myself reading the fine print without actually meaning to. Upon reading, I was shocked and ashamed to discover:
"In accordance with education code section 16564-16566, the facility user acknowledges that the school property for use of which application is hereby made will not be used for the commission of any act intended to further any program or movement, the purpose of which is to accomplish the overthrow of the government of the United States by force, violence, or any other unlawful means, and the facility user is not a communist-action organization or communist front organization required by law to be registered with the attorney general of the United States."
At first, I was horrified. But then I realized I could just move my meeting on nonconformism to the local Starbucks**.

*This statement is not meant to diminish the professional standing of lawyer-hobos.
**Starbucks does not endorse the views of either me or the meeting, but will take our money anyway.


Blogger Kevin said...

Damn ruskies... God bless America!

5:51 PM  
Anonymous ghosh said...

Hey wat r u a communist or something, u think that we shuld hav clubs to overthrow the government??? well do ya?? maybe ur just anti monkey and therefore don't the like the government just becuz its run by a goddamn ape!!! I on the other hand like apes and only hate bush cuz he doesn't like people like me (i mean a type of person who can speak regular english of course). I mean if you ran a school would you want a bunch of people trying to overthrow the government planning their next attack on your campus?? I mean you could go to your school one day and then BOOM!! ur dead. that wouldn't be very fun would it??? The only reason starbucks doesn't have a contract like that is beause its a sin to hurt anyone in starbucks or who is holding a starbucks cup with a starbucks beverage in it, and no one is heartless enough to commit that sin...... I'll b back.......

6:03 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

Ah. My eyes! Tyler! Your crappy job of scanning has singlehandedly made my vision worse by several magnitudes. I'll curse your name (Kahn style) when at the age of 80, I go blind.

12:01 AM  
Blogger Tyler said...

its not a scanning job, i actually took a picture. in bad lighting. shut up, what it says doesn't matter. its just example fine print.

3:43 PM  

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