Saturday, March 04, 2006

The Many Lives of Elevators

Whoa. Remember ME?
Yeah, so elevators. If you've ever seen an action movie, you know what I mean. In said class of movies, there is always, always, an extremely tense scene where a group of characters is riding up in an elevator. Often the group is evil and thus the scene is of impending doom, but then the characters could also be good and the scene could simply be really really cool, suggesting an impending beat-down.

(Click to expand and view this modern day
Tower of Babel.)
So, this got me thinking, did movies even have tension before elevators? And in what other ways did elevators permanently change our lives? I made a list. Elevators:
  • Allow for the existence of elevator music, and subsequent bad puns relating to this.
  • Provide band after lame band with easy photo shoots.
  • Give an excuse to put a ridiculous amount of buttons in one place.
  • Give us an excuse to push every single one of said buttons at once.
  • Tempt us to push the very large and very red emergency button.
  • Increase our freedom by giving us the option to not walk anywhere.
And, finally,
  • Are but one of many representations of the eternal folly of mankind.
So every time you ride in an elevator, remember: religious allegory!


Blogger Kevin said...

In Canadian Bacon, Michael Moore takes the stairs...

12:31 AM  
Anonymous Galodneya said...

someone was clearly distracted during school hours

to hell with spain!

8:52 PM  
Blogger -toYed said...


1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is so insightful! Me gusta!

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

now there producing buttonless elevators.

5:22 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...


12:25 AM  
Blogger Jonah said...

Why is 13 skipped?

7:49 PM  

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