Travel Guide: Washington, Part Two

Alas, it was sad to depart from the lovely little town of patrol helicopters and roadblocks, but all good things must come to an end. After an uneventful flight home, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the contents of my baggage had been ransacked by unknown hands. It was okay though, because clearly whoever had furiously marauded through my belongings and left the fragile gift items damaged beyond repair had done so only with the best of intentions. Tucked away in a corner I discovered this (top left; click to enlarge unless you hate democracy) heartfelt apology for the melee that had transpired in my suitcase.


The "screening" of my bag most certainly must have gotten "physical." I am very sorry that the screeners were "forced" to break my items in order to fight terrorism. Damn you, terrorists! Forcing airport security to break my stuff! You will never break the resolve of our great nation!

I noticed that the note left in my bag was rather large and had been printed on thick cardstock. This must have cost our glorious, illustrious government extra money to print. Being the concerned citizen that I am, I propose that they shorten the message on the note to save their money for more important things, like munitions and tax cuts. Here is my simplified version of the note (bottom left). God bless America.