The Reason for the Season

Whatever it is that fool self-proclaimed cynosure Tyler is up to, he is clearly plagiarizing my work. Ignoring his inane rants, I bring you this lovely mockery of everyone's favorite display of seasonal religious bigotry. (Click to enlarge)

It's Doom and Gloom Monday!

I hate Mondays. And because my opinion is the only one that matters, you should too. Every Monday, which shall henceforth be called Doom and Gloomday, I will bring you bad news. I also decree that for an arbitrary length of time the theme of Doom and Gloomday news shall be cancer. As you know, or will know by the time you finish reading this sentence, everything causes cancer. Everything. This fine Doom and Gloomday, take note that grilling meat causes cancer.

"For the age groups that we're studying, the rate at which women who eat well-done meat are developing breast cancer is nearly five times greater than the rate among women who are not cooking their meat well-done."

I'm certainly not going to let some stupid slab of mutilated animal carcass mess with MY cytochrome P-450 enzyme system. No sir. Down with cooked meat!

Picture of the Week

In the entropic madness that is the internet one frequently finds bizarre and ironic photos. When you are done reading Tyler's mindless blather you may enjoy the Picture of the Week I, in my selfless philanthropy, choose to share with you. I can smell the Nobel Prize already. (Click to enlarge)

Holiday Greetings or Lack Thereof from Kevin

I have not properly introduced myself: I am Kevin, but you may call me Kevin. I am the leader, founder, and most certainly the best of Elitist Indifference. I enjoy jazz and classic movies, but all you really need to know is that my taste in music and entertainment is superior to yours. And don't even think about my political views - your inferior mind probably can't even begin to comprehend them.

In other news I, in my great generosity and boundless compassion, wish you a happy holiday(s) or lack thereof. Here is a candy tank made by yours truly. Because candy houses suck. God bless America. (Click to enlarge)

Mission Statement

We are so much better than you, we don't need to tell you our mission nor do you need to know. Peon. But don't start thinking we don't have a mission just because we're not going to tell you. You trust us, of course. Because we're better than you.

Seeing that you lowly tools have an infinitesimal attention span, we will now divert your attention away from our refusal to state our mission by singing the theme from New York, New York. And by us, we mean both of us. Now isn't that patriotic?

Appropriately Representative Title of First Post

Hello and welcome to the rest of your life. Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times and remember that we are better than you. And by we, we mean us.